wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
My pussy is not your playground.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
