We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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