I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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