I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize