Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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