dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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