the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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