I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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