I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
