help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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