Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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