why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize