Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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