Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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