I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
