Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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