I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
he puts the penis in happiness.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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