I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize