I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
