Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
