watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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