So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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