I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize