I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
It's never too late to be topless.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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