Sry I called you an 8
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
