Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
