I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
