hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
