I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
