So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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