How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
