Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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