Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he puts the penis in happiness.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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