a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize