If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize