he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
