I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
