Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
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Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
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I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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