Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
