so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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