kristin has been a bad kristin
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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