I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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