Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
