I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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