I like my sex mixed with concussions.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize