dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize