I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
