Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
