Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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