I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Randomize
