watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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