I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
