I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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