my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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