Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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