remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
