dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Can Purell be used as lube?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
