Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
